http://www.jstandard.com en-us http://www.jstandard.com N/A editor@jstandard.com Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:12:14 MDT 20 http://www.jstandard.com/articles/3555/1/Canadian-sunset From left, Ed and Libby Rosenblatt, granddaughter Noa Marcus, daughter Dr. Debra Rosenblatt (Marcus), granddaughter Samara Marcus, grandson Daniel Marcus, and son-in-law Michael Marcus at Samara's Bat Mitzvah at the Masada, August 2007. Love has no real boundaries or borders, as this couple discovered. Edward Rosenblatt grew up in the South Bronx, and after serving in the Army during the Korean War and attending City College, he began working at his father's clothing store in the East Bronx. "The neighborhood was about 98 percent Jewish," Ed recalls. "And the store was right across the street from Jake the Pickle Man, a pretty famous guy in those parts." Even after the neighborhood changed, the family kept the business running and Ed became partners with his father. Nancy Butler Fri, 07 Dec 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/3494/1/Making-aliyah-together Sol and Thelma Borodkin This Cliffside Park couple's shared faith led them to move to Israel - not once, but twice. Both Sol Borodkin and Thelma Litwak were born and raised in Brooklyn, he in Crown Heights, she in Brownsville. "He used to kid me that he married beneath him because he was from a better neighborhood," Thelma says with a grin. "But I'd always come back by reminding him that I was a Levi, while he was only an Israel." Nancy Butler Fri, 23 Nov 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/3080/1/Digging-for-truth%2C-finding-each-other Tovah and Yaakov are pictured at their engagement party in May. PHOTO courtesy of the orthodox union On Thursday, Aug. 30, Jake Freedman, 25 and Tovah Schafer, 23 will be married in an Orthodox ceremony in Teaneck. Less than two years ago, neither one of them could have imagined making the choices that led them to each other, nor to the kind of home they now plan to build. As their wedding day approaches, this is the story of the long and sometimes winding road that led them to the chuppah: Bayla Sheva Brenner Fri, 24 Aug 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/3014/1/Fifty-years-and-counting Peter and Ruth Adler at their wedding in 1956 and at their 50th anniversary celebration. Peter Adler came to America from Germany as an 8-year-old boy, after his widowed mother managed to get the family, which included his brother Frank, out of Nazi Germany. She settled with her sons in New York's Washington Heights. When his mother remarried, the family moved to Forest Hills, Queens. Ruth Rose grew up in Rego Park, just across Queens Boulevard from Forest Hills. Nancy Butler Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2790/1/A-reunion-of-hearts%3A-Rekindling-the-flames-of-an-old-love Annice Schear and David Benamy Annice Miller Schear has spent most of her life in Ohio - growing up in Cleveland, going to the University in Cincinnati, and working as a music teacher. But for five summers, from the time she was 14, she'd attended Kutz Camp in Warwick, N.Y. "They'd started up a teacher education program to train Jewish youth to be teachers in synagogues," Annice explains. "I was part of the group chosen to go there from Cleveland. It was an amazing place, all of us living in the same village, studying Judaism, and learning Hebrew, as well singing and dance leading." Although she had to wait until she was two years older to assist at her synagogue, Annice eventually taught music and singing there. "One reason I'm a certified music teacher today is because of Kutz Camp." Nancy Butler Fri, 15 Jun 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2766/1/A-new-beginning Ken and Diana Goldstein Retirement can lead to a stressful period of adjustment for some couples - but for Ken and Diana Goldstein it was a time of rediscovery and reawakening. Ken Goldstein was raised in Brooklyn and began attending NYU, expecting to graduate in 1965. But a year and a half later, his family started having financial problems, so in 1963 he left school and went into the insurance business. Diana Kronish, born in the Bronx and raised in Brooklyn, began working for a brokerage firm in Manhattan after graduating from high school. Nancy Butler Fri, 08 Jun 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2639/1/Auditioning-for-marriage Marvin and Sara Felder on their wedding day, 60 years ago on June 1. Sara Budweiser grew up in Akron, Ohio, loving music, especially playing the violin. Marvin Felder, who was raised in the Bronx, was a keen student of science and studied physics in college. As modern behaviorists might point out, these two exemplified the polar concepts of right brain and left brain, or the creative versus the analytical. Yet this couple found enough common ground to make a marriage work for six decades. As an aspiring violinist, Sara studied with Joseph Fuchs, concertmaster of the Cleveland Orchestra, and received her degree from the Cleveland Institute of Music. She was then appointed to the faculty and taught violin for three years. When Fuchs became an instructor at Julliard, Sara followed him to New York and studied with him for another year. Nancy Butler Fri, 11 May 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2611/1/Every-couple-has-a-story Whenever I encounter couples who are hesitant about participating in a Bashert interview, the first objection they usually raise is, "We really don't have much of a story" - and then proceed to talk about their relationship for 30 minutes or more. One thing I've learned in nearly two years of writing this column is that every couple has a story to tell about their first meeting or their courtship. Some are funny, some are poignant, some are even disastrous. But the stories all share one quality: They portray human beings in search of that elusive thing called love. And when two people do find that special connection, their sense of elation is nearly palpable. This is the kernel of emotion I seek in my interviews - the awareness that romantic love has deeply touched these individuals and made them richer for it. Nancy Butler Fri, 04 May 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2579/1/Faith-and-love David and Elissa Senter with Tracy Abraham (Elissa's daughter) and on their wedding day. Religion and show business often produce kindred spirits, as this Pompton Lakes couple discovered. A fourth-generation rabbi, David Senter grew up in North Bergen and Teaneck. "I was born in Christ Hospital in Jersey City," he says with a chuckle. "A bit strange for a future rabbi." After attending Yeshiva University High School, he continued his studies at Shor Yoshuv Rabbinical College in Far Rockaway and was ordained as a rabbi at Kol Yakov Torah Center. Initially he worked for an organization his father founded, Kof-K, which supervises and certifies kosher food products, and he continued there as a rabbinic administrator until the early 1990s. When he left, it was to start the first kosher concessions at both Yankee and Shea stadiums; he also supplied food for the skyboxes which led to gypsy - or onsite - catering work. Nancy Butler Fri, 27 Apr 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2509/1/Falling-into-place Bill and Phyllis Lowe Sometimes that special bashert union isn't played out until the second act of a couple's life. Phyllis Kaplan and Bill Lowe were both born in Brooklyn; both eventually married and had children. After their respective divorces they remained single for many years, busy working and raising their kids. It was not until November of 1995, while Phyllis was living in New City and Bill was in Fort Lee, that their lives intersected. Nancy Butler Thu, 12 Apr 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2451/1/An-uncommon-bond Paula and Bill Cantor, left, at Amherst College's prom weekend in 1957 and at the YJCC's Candlelight Dinner. Not every high school romance manages to grow and thrive, but this North Jersey couple made an easy transition from dating teens to globetrotting soul mates. Paula Millenthal grew up in Union City and then Cliffside Park. "But I actually spent a lot of time in Hoboken," she says. "I had family there and went to school at Stevens Hoboken Academy. We also attended Cong. Adas Emuno." In 1947, when she was in fifth grade, she met sixth-grader Bill Cantor, who was from Jersey City. Although they remained friends through high school, by the time Bill was a senior, something had changed between them. He realized he wanted to ask her out. Nancy Butler Thu, 29 Mar 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2422/1/A-question-of-faith Tom and Anat Curran When Tom Curran's company sent him to work for the Israeli Ministry of Defense at the age of 23, he had no idea of the major life changes he would soon face. "I had been in the Navy," Tom, a Los Angeles native, recalls, "and in 1983 I was working for General Dynamics out of San Diego. I was a wide-eyed Catholic boy who knew nothing about the Jewish faith. Even though I'd dated a Jewish girl in high school, I never went to her home for any of the holidays." Tom felt like a fish out of water once he arrived in Tel Aviv - wondering, for instance, why he couldn't get a burger and a glass of milk at his kosher hotel, the Dan Astoria. His main source of comfort became watching the attractive cashier at the hotel's lounge - although he never spoke to her. But sometimes he would play the piano in the lobby near the lounge, hoping she would be listening. Nancy Butler Thu, 22 Mar 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2386/1/Five-golden-decades-and-still-going-strong Marty and Judy Lebson. This year is a significant one for Judy and Marty Lebson. Not only will they be celebrating their golden wedding anniversary in August, but on Rosh HaShanah, the Tenafly residents will have been members of Temple Emanu-El, now in Closter, for 50 years. On March 24 the Lebsons will be honored by the congregation to commemorate this long and fruitful relationship. The couple both grew up in New York - Judy Fatel in Crown Heights and Marty Lebson in Washington Heights. Marty graduated from Adelphi University and then went into the army. In 1955, once he'd been discharged and begun working in the insurance business, an old college friend from Adelphi fixed him up with one of his sister's friends from Russell Sage College in Troy, N.Y. Marty and Judy arranged the date during the summer break - and then didn't see each other again for a whole year. "I guess you could say we weren't instantly smitten," Judy admits. But when they got together the following summer, after she'd graduated, something really clicked. "We went into the City," Judy says. "But I don't remember what we did." Nancy Butler Thu, 15 Mar 2007 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2379/1/%91How-do-I-love-thee%3F%92 Rob and Linda VanGrover Linda Steinberg and Rob VanGrover grew up 15 minutes from each other in Queens. But it wasn't until they were both attending SUNY Albany that they met in person. "I first saw Linda walking through my dorm with a guy," Rob recalls. "I was sitting in the lounge with my friend Mindy. She called out to Linda, and even though she used the wrong name, Linda responded. They apparently knew each other, but not that well." Rob, who'd felt a definite attraction, decided to wait for her to come back alone, and when she did, he started talking to her. Nancy Butler Thu, 08 Mar 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2296/1/Romancing-with-the-write-stuff Francie Weinman grew up on the South Side of Chicago, and in Skokie, Ill. She attended Washington University in St. Louis and finished her degree at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern. During her senior year, her women's journalism group was touring a local radio station, ABC affiliate WLS, and as she watched the disc jockey and news writer through the large glass window, she saw a mouse run across the floor. "The newsman began chasing the wild mouse with a broom," Francie recalls, "and at some point our eyes met in amusement." When Francie began dating a graduate student, she was surprised to discover he was the roommate of the young man she'd seen at the station. Nancy Butler Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2290/1/Making-a-continental-connection Jerry and Catherine Sitbon Catherine Suserman was born in Paris, the daughter of a French mother and a Romanian father. Her parents immigrated to the U.S. with 9-month-old Catherine in their arms and moved to the Bronx. Through the years, they all traveled to Europe so that Catherine and her brother would feel at home in both the Old World and the New. In order for her father's parents to be liberated from behind the Iron Curtain, he had to establish a residence in Europe, so they could eventually immigrate to America on a visa. Once her grandparents were settled in the States, Catherine's father decided to move his family to Spain, and then to Belgium. Nancy Butler Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2254/1/A-gift-from-the-heart Jackie and Robert Fishbein Sometimes, when two people are casually dating, one meaningful act of kindness can solidify a relationship and lead to much more. Jacquelynn Duquette grew up in Queens, the child of a Catholic mother and a Jewish father. Her family was not well off, and although she badly wanted to go to college, her parents could not afford it. So at the age of 18 she joined the Air Force, expecting to one day attend college on the G.I. bill. That December, Jackie's grandmother died, and she was sent home on a bereavement leave. While there, she took a part-time job in a local store, Fishbein's, in Astoria, to help out over the holidays. "We'd always shopped there," she explains. "It was a great place - a Tru-Value hardware store, plus they sold groceries and cards. Their motto was 'One Stop Shopping.'" It was here that she met Robert Fishbein, whose family had owned the store for three generations. Bobby was studying business and finance at St. John's, but also helped out in the store. He asked her out and the two quickly started dating. Nancy Butler Thu, 08 Feb 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2223/1/Love-goes-the-distance Barry and Tamara Freeman are pictured on their wedding day and celebrating Chanukah with daughters Anne and Rachel and Max the cat. Occasionally a man and a woman realize they are bashert almost from the moment they meet. Tamara and Barry Freeman were fortunate enough to have that insight, and over the years have taken care to nurture their special relationship. In 1980, Tamara Reps had just finished her junior year at SUNY Potsdam, where she was at the Crane School of Music, majoring in music education and violin. "There was a tiny shul in Potsdam - Cong. Beth El, whose rabbi had just passed away," she explains, "so I ended up involved in a temple where every member pitched in to make it function." She volunteered to teach folkdancing and Jewish music, and also became principal of the religious school. "All this at the age of 20," she says. "This made my Judaism much more relevant and alive for me." Nancy Butler Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2163/1/A-soda-fountain-romance Like his father before him, Charles Mishler was struck by love at first sight when he saw his future wife. "I was in a soda fountain in my hometown of Paterson," Charles recalls of his first encounter with Janet Getz. "She was sitting at the end of the counter eating a sundae. I fell in love with her, even though I didn't speak to her." At least Charles knew her name. Janet was from San Antonio by way of Paterson and New Orleans, but her grandmother's house was only two doors down from his family home. Fortunately, his cousin's girlfriend knew Janet well and she set up a blind date for them. "We went to a movie in Passaic," Charles says, "and then out for dinner at about 11:30. Janet must have weighed 86 pounds at the time, but she ordered a roast beef platter and ate the whole thing! I was impressed." Nancy Butler Fri, 19 Jan 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2098/1/The-2006-Bashert-%91Oscars%92 As we enter a new year, it's time to look back over the Basherts of 2006 and recap some of the stories that touched us or made us laugh. Whether our Bashert couples were newly engaged or married for decades, they all took the time to share the tales of their courtship, and we'd like to thank them for their honesty and generosity of spirit. The Different Drummer award: to Sherry Hochman, who was the drummer in an all-girl band when she met husband Morris at a Catskill resort just before he went off to serve in World War II. The Silver Skates award: to Sonia Silver, an avid ice skater who disrupted a conga line at the rink while trying to get a good look at future husband Lou. Nancy Butler Thu, 04 Jan 2007 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1930/1/A-face-in-the-crowd Dr. Lisa Kotler Shafer and Howard Shafer at their wedding and in a recent photograph. Even if two people are eager to meet on a blind date, they'd better make sure to get their signals straight or they might pass each other by - as Lisa Kotler and Howard Shafer discovered. Lisa grew up in Holmdel and attended Princeton and then Yale, where she received her medical degree. Howard was raised just down the road in East Brunswick; he went to Rutgers and got his law degree from Brooklyn Law. "We grew up a few miles apart," Lisa says, "and both took our undergraduate degrees in New Jersey. But we had more in common than that - we'd both been active in United Synagogue Youth in our area and both attended Camp Ramah in the Berkshires. We'd also been from Conservative families and got more involved in religion while in college." But in spite of being in the same youth group and going to the same camp, Lisa and Howard had never met. Nancy Butler Thu, 30 Nov 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1901/1/Dreaming-of-America Tamara and Gary Segal. Love can bloom in the darkest places, even behind the walls of an oppressive regime, as Tamara and Gary Segal discovered. Tamara Erdelyi grew up behind the Iron Curtain, in the Transylvanian mountains of Romania. In 1979, she traveled to Bucharest, the country's capital, to complete her schooling as an architect. As she tells it, "I had just arrived in the city, and was waiting on the steps of the opera house to meet a friend. I noticed a young man walk by. He stopped and turned to look at me. I thought to myself, 'I know this guy.'" He introduced himself as Gary Segal, and it turned out he had dated a friend of Tamara's when she was a freshman in high school. Nancy Butler Thu, 23 Nov 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1868/1/Building-on-each-other%92s-strengths Marlene and Philip Rhodes Not every couple clicks instantly. They might seem too differ-ent ... until they realize that those differences can actually forge a bond between them. Marlene Hoffman was born and grew up in the Bronx. After attending Queens College, she moved to Manhattan and began working as an ad writer for an advertising agency. It was an exciting job for a young woman, but she sensed there was something more she wanted to do with her life. Philip Rhodes was also a New Yorker: He was born in the East Village and grew up in Riverdale. A graduate of Columbia School of Engineering, he received graduate degrees in finance and polymer chemistry from NYU. Phil had a dream - he wanted to be an inventor. Nancy Butler Thu, 16 Nov 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1841/1/The-bashert-angel Laura Osinoff and Steven Greenberg Some couples are truly fated to be together, yet it might take a journey of three decades before their hands - and hearts - entwine. Laura Berman Osinoff grew up in Bergen County; so did Steven Morey Greenberg. As a teen during the 1960s Laura attended Young Judaea events in Fort Lee and Israeli folk dancing; so did Steve. "We probably even danced together once or twice," Laura muses. "But for both of us, clearly the timing wasn't right." They each moved on with their separate lives, and when Laura went off to Ithaca College, she vowed to her mother, "I am never coming back to live in New Jersey." She received graduate degrees in social work and psychoanalysis from Hunter's Post Graduate Center for Mental Health and began a private practice in New York City. Years passed, she married and stayed involved in community work, eventually becoming executive deputy director of a mental health clinic in the city. Nancy Butler Sun, 12 Nov 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1806/1/Set-up-or-set-back%3F Marcia and Fred Schulman at their wedding in 1986, in Israel, 1987, and today. Even bashert couples occasionally need a little prod in the right direction. All signs kept pushing Marcia toward Fred, but it took seven years before they finally found that romantic spark. Marcia Jacobs grew up in Monsey, N.Y., and attended Queens College. When she was 21 and working in Manhattan, she suffered a bad breakup with her boyfriend. She was so distraught, a coworker, Rich Zollino, suggested fixing her up with Fred Schulman, a Jewish guy he knew who worked at Citibank. Marcia finally agreed, and Rich passed along her phone number - but Fred never called. Fred, who was from West Hempstead and attended Yeshiva, had no idea that this omission would one day come back to haunt him. Six years later, Marcia registered for a psychology course. After her first class, a guy came over and asked her for coffee. "Sandy hair, blue eyes, small nose," she recalls. "And I immediately thought, not Jewish." She made some excuse, and never went back to the class. Nancy Butler Sun, 05 Nov 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1769/1/Speaking-from-the-heart Elaine and Mike Adler stand in front of the Aphasia Institute they created. Sometimes even bashert couples find themselves tested when fate throws them a curve. Elaine and Mike Adler discovered new challenges - and new depths - to their relationship when serious illness struck. Elaine Finkel grew up in Brooklyn and was living with her family in Manhattan's Upper West Side when her brother brought a fellow NYU student, Myron - or Mike - Adler, over to study for a test. "I was also going to NYU, but downtown," Elaine explains, "while my brother and Mike were at the Heights campus uptown." Although she and Mike had different circles of friends, an attraction formed, and when he asked her out, she was happy to accept. Nancy Butler Thu, 26 Oct 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1737/1/Her-conquering-hero Yvette and Lou Tekel What's a girl to do when everyone's cheering the hometown hero, and she believes he won't even look her way? Playing a waiting game - and ending up at the same college - might be the answer. Yvette Gitlow and Lou Tekel grew up in Spring Valley, N.Y., and attended school together. Yvette knew Lou, but he wasn't a close friend. Nancy Butler Thu, 19 Oct 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1675/1/Two-different-worlds Jayne and Allen Jacobson Even in these easygoing times, an Orthodox-Reform marriage raises a few eyebrows. Just imagine how such a union might have been received four decades ago. In the summer of 1961, Jayne-Anne Appel was living in Manhattan with her mother and grandmother. Originally from Cleveland, she had recently graduated from Wellesley and gotten a job at an ad agency on Madison Avenue. When one of her work girlfriends was planning a weekend at Grossingers, she asked Jayne along. Jayne had no desire to go, but her friend insisted. Nancy Butler Thu, 05 Oct 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1644/1/Keeping-the-faith Marci and Scott Spiro in an early and a recent photograph. While Yom Kippur is deeply meaningful for most Jews, for Marci and Scott Spiro it also has an important family connection that heightens their awareness of this holy day. It was the night of Kol Nidrei in 1960, when Marci Luber's mother went into labor with her first child. Her parents, who had never driven on Shabbat or the High Holy Days, got right into their car and drove Marci's mother and father to the hospital. Twelve hours later, on Yom Kippur, Marci was born. Nancy Butler Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1617/1/Throwing-his-heart-into-the-ring... Steven and Jennifer Rothman It's never easy for divorced parents with kids to find the time to meet other singles, let alone actually date. That was the problem both Jennifer Beckenstein and Steven Rothman faced: busy schedules, family demands, and lack of opportunity. Steven had one additional time-consumer on his plate - he is the congressional representative for the 9th district of New Jersey and must make weekly trips to Washington from his home in Fair Lawn. Fortunately, Steven and Jennifer turned to Internet dating - where they both joined the same service. "I met Jenn through J-Date," Steven says. "I'd heard good things about the site and it was all true." After that initial e-mail contact, they spoke a few times on the phone, and Steven's job naturally came up. "I remember that his career profile said 'attorney, works for U.S. Congress,'" Jennifer says. "I had no idea when I read the ad that he was actually a congressman." Jewish Standard Thu, 21 Sep 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1588/1/Falling-for-teacher%92s-pet Richard and Risa Tannenbaum at their wedding and in a recent photograph. In 1972, when Richard Tannenbaum returned to Jersey City after two years in Israel at Tel Aviv University, he felt a bit out of circulation. A friend came through with the phone number of a young woman he knew. "Her name was Risa Furman," Richard explains, "But her area code was 516 - Long Island - and I thought it was too far away to consider. Yet for some reason, I carried that slip of paper in my wallet for six months." It wasn't until he started Hofstra University in January of 1973 and heard the Hebrew class professor call out the name "Risa Furman," that he got a jolt. Richard knew the name sounded familiar - he took out the slip of paper and, sure enough, it was the same woman. Since she wasn't in class, he asked around and discovered she was sick and had missed the first few days of school. Nancy Butler Thu, 14 Sep 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1511/1/From-teen-crush-to-loving-couple Sharon and David Kozinn Not every teenage girl who's infatuated with an older boy actually gets to marry her crush. But after Sharon Ofsowitz met David Kozinn, she waited for their ages to "even out" - and managed to do just that. Sharon grew up in Clifton, and in 1974 she became involved in BBG (B'nai B'rith Girls) of B'nai B'rith Youth Organization, where she was able to meet other kids from North Jersey. "Back then," Sharon recalls, "there were few places open on Christmas eve, so B'nai B'rith always sponsored a bowling party that night." That was where 13-year-old Sharon met David, who was from Demarest and a junior in high school. "Right away I knew he was special," she says. "Unfortunately, the person who introduced us was his girlfriend." Nancy Butler Thu, 31 Aug 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1486/1/Marriage%2C-military-style The Metviners after their wedding in the Annapolis chapel, surrounded by Kenneth's classmates. In January of 1960, Sandra Miller of the Bronx was on intercession from City College, and she decided to visit her aunt in Philadelphia. She'd hoped to catch a 9 a.m. train from New York City, but when she stopped in the station to buy some toys for her young cousins, she only had a 20-dollar bill. The man at the concession went off to find change, and by the time he came back, Sandy had missed her train. While lingering on the platform waiting for the 11 o'clock train, she noticed a lot of men in uniform, but had no idea they were midshipmen from Annapolis waiting to return to the academy. They boarded the train with her, and she was a bit overwhelmed as she walked down the aisle surrounded by all these young Navy men. Finally, she saw an empty seat with a copy of the New York Times on it. She picked up the paper and sat down, intending to read it during the two-hour trip. "There was a young man in uniform sitting next to me," she recalls. "He'd helped me stow my overnight bag, and after that we just started talking." She laughs. "I never did get to read that paper." It turned out that Kenneth Metviner was also from the Bronx and had also attended City College. They discovered they knew many of the same students. Sandy had a blind date that night in Philly, arranged by a college friend, and she was surprised to discover that Ken knew the girl. As the chemistry between them grew, Ken began probing Sandy's background. He was one of only 52 Jewish midshipmen at Annapolis - out of 4,000 students - and he knew Miller didn't exactly sound Jewish. He asked Sandy her grandmother's last name, and she said, "Miller, of course," referring to the paternal side of her family. "But I'd figured out what he was getting at," she admits. At one point while they were talking, he gently brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. "I knew at that moment that he was the one," Sandy says. "That was all it took." When they parted in Philadelphia, Ken asked for her phone number and promised to call. Sandy dutifully went out on her blind date that night, but when her mother phoned to see how it went, Sandy sighed, "Oh, Mom, I met the nicest guy on the train." In March, Ken was able to come north to see her, and by June they were pinned. They decided to get married the day Ken graduated from the academy - a popular custom - and so he entered a lottery to hold the wedding at the imposing Annapolis chapel, with its great dome rising higher than the Maryland state capitol. To their mutual delight, he won the first slot. "Except I hadn't factored in that it was an Episcopal church," Sandy says. "At the time there was no Jewish chapel at the academy. At least my mother brought the chuppah from the Moshulu Jewish Center in the Bronx." Still, they were both looking forward a traditional military wedding in a beautiful setting. "Did I mention she was late for the ceremony?" Ken says, and Sandy grins. "We forgot the bobby pins for my veil," she explains. "I made my father stop at a store in the town, and then we hit traffic." Since other couples were waiting to be married, the chapel hostess warned Ken that if Sandy didn't arrive in the next five minutes, the wedding was off. Fortunately, Sandy made it in the nick of time, and the couple were married by a Jewish chaplain the Navy had flown in from the Brooklyn Navy Yard. In true Hollywood fashion, the Metviners exited the chapel under the raised swords of Ken's classmates, who were wearing their white dress uniforms - and yarmulkes. The reception was held at the Alumni House, which did not generally serve meals. "They usually offered just drinks and canapés," Sandy explains. "We managed to get a dinner of sliced turkey on white bread, mashed potatoes, and peas." She adds, "Not exactly Jewish." "And the band ate all the canapés," Ken says with a chuckle. Ken remained in the service for seven years, working in public relations, and was stationed in Newport, Norfolk, and Washington, D.C. Sandy, with her degree in education, found teaching jobs wherever they lived. After their two children were born, Ken rejoined civilian life but remained a naval reservist - retiring several years ago at the rank of commander. He continued working in public relations, until a position in financial PR eventually led to a career as a stockbroker. The couple first moved to the Bronx, and then settled in Paramus, where they live today. They attend the Jewish Community Center in that town, where they've both been active volunteers. Sandy, who recently retired from Yabneh Academy, has also worked with several local charities as a fund-raiser. Their son, Erik, now lives in Manhattan, while daughter, Tracy, lives with her husband and daughter in Portland, Ore. "If there is a moral to our story," Ken says, "it's that we will finally be able to fix something that's bothered us for years." "When we heard that there were plans to build a Jewish chapel at Annapolis," Sandy continues, "Ken wanted to be part of it. He offered to match the contributions made by any of his classmates." When the construction of the Uriah P. Levy Chapel - named for the first Jewish U.S. Navy admiral - was completed at the academy, Sandy knew her dream would finally come true. "I was always troubled that we were married under a stained glass window with Christian images," she says. "Now, on our upcoming 45th anniversary, Ken and I will renew our vows at Annapolis, in a more fitting place." Nancy Butler is the author of 12 Regency romances, three nonfiction titles (including "The Quotable Lover," Lyons Press), and three novellas, and has twice won the prestigious RITA from the Romance Writers of America. Nancy Butler Thu, 24 Aug 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1457/1/A-heady-encounter A cardinal rule of dating - and it's especially true of blind dates - is that first impressions count. So it required a truly bashert attraction for Patricia Krieg to overlook that David Postrion was missing something rather "cosmetically critical" when he showed up at her door for the first time. In 1959, David Postrion was a single guy in his mid-20s who taught Spanish in his hometown of Jersey City. After completing his undergraduate degree at Montclair State and receiving his master's from Seton Hall, he'd begun the doctoral program at Columbia University. In spite of his busy schedule, David had recently bought a car so that he could take his mother to Teaneck to visit her brother and his wife. David's aunt, who had sadly lost a leg to diabetes, was so pleased by these frequent visits that she offered to set him up with Pat, the daughter of a woman in her card-playing group. David thought this sounded like a pretty good idea. He took Pat's phone number and called her. She seemed okay with the idea, so they planned a date for that weekend. But then things got a bit complicated. "I'd always been interested in body-building," David relates, "and at the time I was in charge of the weightlifting program at the Jersey City Community Center gym. A few days before my date, some young guy - who was way out of his league - lost control of the weight bar. One end flew into the air and hit my head, cutting it badly." Nancy Butler Thu, 17 Aug 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1424/1/Romance-%E0-la-mode Uri and Rachel Sobel enjoy the Old City of Jerusalem. Forget the glamour boys and the college jocks; it's every woman's dream to marry a mensch. Rachel Lendner had a feeling she might be on the right track to finding a great, generous, spontaneous guy - and when Uri Sobel selected one absolutely perfect gift, Rachel knew he was the one. In the early 1990s, Rachel was part of the double degree program offered by Barnard and the Jewish Theological Seminary, while Uri was attending Columbia's School of Engineering. The two met their freshman year after joining an informal Jewish à capella group Rachel's friend was starting. "Our group eventually evolved into Pizmon, Columbia's official Jewish à capella singers," Rachel recalls. When she was asked to join, she initially resisted. "Who will I know?" she wondered aloud. "Uri," her friend replied, "you know him - glasses, dark hair." Nancy Butler Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1372/1/A-new-love%2C-a-new-life Mira and Jacob Birnbaum In the early 1940s, the Jews of Eastern Europe faced their most severe test - surviving the combined evils of Nazi concentration camps and work camps. Could romance possibly bloom in such a perilous place and time? Not easily. Yet as Jacob and Mira Birnbaum discovered, sometimes the seeds of love are planted to flower later on. Jacob was born in the historic city of Piotrkow, Poland. But when the Germans occupied his country, Jacob was forcibly separated from his family and sent to the Markstadt work camp in Germany. "I was in my early 20s," he says, "and the Nazis wanted the young, strong ones." He spent long, exhausting days hauling bales of cotton from the railroad sidings to the factory located in the other half of his camp, where the women lived and worked. Nancy Butler Thu, 27 Jul 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1103/1/Reunited Karen and MikeKaren Salomon of Fair Lawn and Michel Ehrentreu of Teaneck met as students at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck in the '70s. He was studying business, she was studying marketing. They dated for two years before they broke up. Ehrentrau's circle of friends took to referring to Salomon as "the wife," until the break up. They each married the next person they dated but remained friends through the years. Josh Lipowsky Fri, 26 May 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1069/1/A-marriage-that-made-the-grade Bashert Girls and boys are almost bound to tangle in grammar school. But sometimes, as Bev and Irv Fitterman can attest, that early animosity takes a surprising turn - to love. When Beverly Fischman was attending fourth grade in P.S. 92 in the Bronx, the children were seated alphabetically, so Irving Fitterman's desk was right behind hers. "We had those old-style desks with built-in inkwells," she recalls. "He used to tease me and dip my pigtails in his inkwell." "And she'd turn around," Irv adds with a chuckle, "with a clenched fist and scowl at me." After grammar school, the two attended adjoining high schools - Nancy Butler Fri, 19 May 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1045/1/Love-is-in-the-Starbucks Janis Oolie and Jeff Glasberg Computer dating has a lot of pluses, especially for singles who lead busy professional lives. Yet some people never manage to get off the computer for that all-important face-to-face encounter. Then there are couples like Janis Oolie and Jeff Glasberg - whose first meeting at a popular coffee bar was like a jolt of pure caffeine. Recently divorced, Janis was a working mother with a 9-year-old daughter, Kylie. Janis had grown up in North Caldwell, and after attending Simmons College in Boston, she worked at Macy's as a product manager. Her current job for UJA as director of the Community Campaign and Young Leadership Division left her little time to meet available Jewish men, so she opted for JDate online. "It's time, all my friends said," Janis recalls. Nancy Butler Thu, 11 May 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/1018/1/The-spark-of-love-in-dark-times Cyla and Itche's wedding picture In honor of Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day, which was marked last week, the Bashert column is featuring the courtship of two European refugees who met during the terrible days of World War II, and who later managed to reconnect - and find love again - in peacetime. They are no longer with us, but their story will be sure to remind readers of the true meaning of the word "bashert." Nancy Butler Thu, 04 May 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/986/1/A-well-knit-couple Bashert Sometimes all it takes is one blind date - and a couple's fate is sealed. At the age of 18, Janice Leib was working as a secretary in Manhattan. "A girl in my office asked me if I wanted to go out with one of her friends - a nice guy," Janice recalls. "I thought, why not?" Gerald "Jerry" Rosen was studying architecture at Pratt, and like Janice was born and raised in Brooklyn. Nancy Butler Thu, 27 Apr 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/959/1/A-blast-from-the-past Dennis and Roberta Coren. Not every couple gets a chance for a do-over when it comes to a long-lost relationship. Yet somehow Roberta and Dennis Coren managed that famous "second time around" - 33 years later! Roberta Marsh had just turned 20 when she first met Dennis Coren, whose best friend was dating her roommate. She and Dennis were both from north Jersey - Roberta spent her childhood in Fair Lawn and graduated from Fort Lee High School, while Dennis grew up in Cliffside Park. The two were thrown together socially when Roberta's roommate dragged her along on one of her dates. She and Dennis really connected, and continued on as a couple after the other two broke up. "Things were pretty serious between us," she says, "and we eventually got engaged." Nancy Butler Fri, 21 Apr 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/925/1/A-bicycle-built-for-two Bruce Prince and Stacie Lieberman. Even though it's easy to believe that Stacie Lieberman and Bruce Prince of Teaneck were destined to connect, it took a five-borough bike ride through New York for this couple to link up. Stacie graduated from the University of Delaware and is creative director of advertising for Vogue magazine. Bruce, an alumnus of the University of Oklahoma, is the owner of Embroideries Unlimited, a textile manufacturing business, and also recruits for Joel Paul and Associates, a non-profit executive placement agency. Nancy Butler Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/900/1/The-prof-and-the-protester Jeanette Friedman didn't seem to mind when her new husband, Phil Sieradski, dabbed some wedding cake on her nose. In the early 1970s, social change was in the air - at least on college campuses. Jeanette Friedman was a veteran of protest marches and considered herself an early activist. The child of Holocaust survivors, she had been conceived in Paris and was born and grew up in an Orthodox home in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. In 1970, she was a single, divorced mother of one attending Brooklyn College, where she was president of the Student Center Board as well as the editor of the college paper. When someone she liked very much was replaced as assistant director of the Student Center, she decided to check out the new guy. "A friend warned me," Jeanette recalls. "They said 'he'll bowl you over, so be prepared.'" Nancy Butler Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:00:00 MDT http://www.jstandard.com/articles/868/1/Here%92s-looking-at-you%2C-kid Mireille and Irving Greenberg at their wedding 61 years ago. As Mireille and Irving Greenberg discovered, when couples meet in exotic, faraway places, romance may not be far behind - even if there's a war going on. Mireille Benchimol was born and grew up in Casablanca, Morocco. Although it was a Muslim country ruled by a king, things were fairly peaceful for the large Jewish community. Her father had his own business and the Benchimols were part of the upper middle class. Then in 1940, the country, which was a French protectorate, came under German domination. In 1942, Mireille and her family watched the Americans fire on the Vichy French ships in the harbor, relieved beyond words - they knew what the Germans did to the Jews in Europe. Within a week or so they were happy to see their liberators walking the streets of Casablanca. Nancy Butler Thu, 30 Mar 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/833/1/Courting-couples-and-the-kosher-deli Karen and Jerry Roth Love arises from some surprising places. But who knew that along with a pound of nova and a schmear one couple could find something special from the deli counter that would last their whole lives? Karen Rosen grew up in Yonkers, but after graduating from high school she followed her dream and moved to Israel. During her 10 years there, she went to school in Jerusalem, then lived in Eilat and Tel Aviv, eventually managing the editorial office of the Israel Economist magazine. In 1985, she hadn't been back home for seven years and missed her mother so much that she returned to the states, to Riverdale, N.Y., for an extended visit. Nancy Butler Thu, 23 Mar 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/752/1/Not-Necessarily-Bashert.-A-true-story%3A-Couple%92s-honeymoon-goes-up-in-flames Jeff and Rhonda West Honeymoons are supposed to be a time of romance and moonlit walks, but not for Jeff and Rhonda West of Bessemer City, N.C. Their honeymoon 16 years ago in Myrtle Beach, S.C., was downright criminal - stolen right out from under them, in fact - which is why they were recently awarded the grand prize in Thrifty Car Rental's "Honeymoon Disasters Contest." Headed for the hotel in Jeff's mint-condition 1968 Camaro RS, they lost a hubcap. After chasing it down, they resumed their journey until they heard a loud thud. Jewish Standard Thu, 09 Mar 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/707/1/The-charm-bracelet-linkup Bernice and Bob Yampell, circa 1959. The town of Haddonfield lies just outside Philadelphia, on the New Jersey side of the Delaware. Bernice Buchalter and Bob Yampell both grew up there. "There was one temple for about 20 towns," Bernice explains, "and as members of the Jewish community, my parents naturally knew his parents." Nancy Butler Thu, 02 Mar 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/668/1/Bashert A boardwalk There are times when the matchmaking game goes awry and perfect couples don'tend up together. Though such was almost the case for Heidi and Eric Kuperman, they overcame a serious near miss and other interference and made a love match after all. Nancy Butler Thu, 23 Feb 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/626/1/The-waiting-game Saul and Marilyn Krug As with any pursuit, patience and perseverance pay off when a man is "courting" a woman who planned never to remarry. Saul Krug stayed the course and finally won Marilyn's trust. Nancy Butler Thu, 16 Feb 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/583/1/The-7%2C000-mile-blind-date Naama and Mitchell Heymann Then Naama Keisar first met Mitchell Heymann, she could have easily paraphrased a recent pop song: "He walked out of the plane ... and into my heart." Fortunately, Mitchell felt exactly the same way. Mitchell grew up in Closter, and in 1989 was living in Manhattan. His career in hotel management for the Marriott chain kept him so busy - with odd hours and frequent relocations - that he rarely had time to date. When family or friends suggested he meet a particular woman, his comments were often, "She lives too far away," or "I don't know anything about her." So it didn't seem promising when the daughter-in-law of his mother's cousin in Israel came to visit and mentioned a fellow teacher in Jerusalem who might interest him. As Mitchell's mother Sophie puts it, "He wouldn't even travel to Brooklyn to meet a girl, much less to Israel." Still, Sophie humored the woman and gave her a picture of her son to take back with her. "When my friend returned to Jerusalem," Naama recalls, "she phoned me and said, 'Have I got a guy for you,'" Naama was, likewise, skeptical. "I couldn't imagine flying thousands of miles for a blind date." Nevertheless, she and Mitchell began corresponding, and Naama even had a friend take her photo to send to him. After exchanging several letters, they began discussing the possibility of meeting. When Mitchell was planning his vacation for that year, he had the option of going to San Francisco, where he had tickets to the World Series. Israel - and meeting Naama - was the other possibility. "I encouraged him to go to California," Sophie says. "A good thing he didn't listen to me. It was the year of the big San Francisco/Oakland earthquake." But by then, Mitchell was on his way to Tel Aviv. "International phone calls were expensive back then," Naama says. "So the only time we'd talked on the phone was just before he left on his trip. I told him if I was late - which I never am - he should meet me outside the airport." It turned out that traffic was heavy, and she did arrive late. But it didn't matter to Mitchell. "I felt something hit me when I saw her," he recalls. "I knew she was going to be my wife." They drove back to her apartment and shared wine and cheese before she took him sightseeing in Jerusalem. "It wasn't at all awkward being with him. Still, I was being cautious at first," Naama admits. "But when he left after his two-week visit, I knew he was the one." Mitchell returned to Israel for Chanukah, where he and Naama discussed marriage and wedding plans. When she came to America for Passover the following spring to meet his family, they announced their engagement. "A few days earlier I had called her mom in Israel," Mitchell says. "I'd learned the words in Hebrew to ask for her permission to marry Naama." That August, after Naama finished her school year, they were married in America. She was now facing a major transition - living in a new country. "I knew what I was getting into," she says. "I'd spent a year in Berkeley in the 1980s, so I was familiar with the culture here." The Heymanns live in Norwood with their two children, Gil, 14, and Danielle, 11. Naama teaches Hebrew studies at Temple Emanu-El in Closter - she'd been a gym teacher in Jerusalem - while Mitchell has continued his career with Marriott. And has it been difficult for this couple with their hearts in two countries? "It's actually great fun," Mitchell says. "We had Gil's bar mitzvah here, and then another one for him in Israel. Both our kids spend vacations there; they're multicultural." "We love visiting Israel," Naama adds. "When we leave, we're already looking forward to going back." They agree that Mitchell absolutely made the right choice all those years ago by traveling to meet Naama, even if he missed the World Series - and the big earthquake. Nancy Butler is the author of 12 Regency romances, three nonfiction titles (including "The Quotable Lover," Lyons Press), and three novellas, and has twice won the prestigious RITA from the Romance Writers of America. Jewish Standard Thu, 09 Feb 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/536/1/Love-is-a-numbers%92-game Milt and Doryne Davis Then an odd-looking stranger accosts most of us, we turn away in fear or embarrassment. But Doryne Gerstein listened with her heart - and it changed her life. Doryne grew up in Fort Lee, where, as an adult, she and a friend frequently worked out at the Jack Lalanne Gym in the Linwood Plaza. One night as they were leaving, an eccentric-looking woman approached them and asked if they were Jewish - and if they were single. Doryne's friend was engaged, and Doryne answered truthfully, in spite of the woman's bizarre appearance. "She had these circles of rouge on her cheeks, and plastic bangle bracelets," she recalls. "Her hair was long and obviously dyed. But I thought she seemed sweet and harmless. I told her I was both Jewish and single." The woman introduced herself as Harriet and took Doryne's telephone number. "We always affectionately called her 'Crazy Harriet,'" Doryne admits. "But I later thought of her as someone special, perhaps my guardian angel. She felt it was her mission in life to connect Jewish singles." Unfortunately, Harriet's first attempts at finding a match for Doryne were dismal. "She fixed me up with six PeeWee Hermans in a row," Doryne says with a laugh. "Creepy guys with dirt under their nails, guys who picked their teeth at the dinner table with chopstick paper." It turns out Harriet would approach any man she thought might be Jewish and single - and her choices weren't always stellar. But Doryne decided to give her "yenta" just one more chance and agreed to a seventh blind date. "I was working as an advertising director for a national trade magazine at the time," she says. "Being in sales, I knew that success was often a numbers' game." Harriet herself had three children (all unmarried, ironically) and at the time her daughter was dating a guy from Brooklyn. This guy's real estate business partner was his brother, Milt Davis, who was single. Harriet decided to pair him with Doryne. "I'd been through the Harriet deal once before," Milt recalls. "And it was a total dud. But I was facing a dating drought and thought, why not try again?" Harriet told him she knew a very nice girl in Fort Lee. "I cracked up," Milt confesses. "My brother and I used to make fun of the buses from Jersey that had this big ad banner that said, 'Fortunately Fort Lee.'" Still, he went ahead and called Doryne. After they'd talked for an hour, he asked her out for that coming Saturday night. But she hesitated, then suggested a weeknight. "I can't believe I did that," she says now. "I guess I didn't want to limit my weekend options." But Milt took a stand. "Look, I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy," he said. That won Doryne over completely. She hung up and immediately called her mother. "I told her I'd just made a date with a guy who was really easy to talk to." She adds with a grin, "But such a heavy Brooklyn accent." That Saturday they went "clubbing" - first dinner and then dancing at the Limelight. Doryne felt almost immediately that Harriet had finally gotten it right. Six months later she and Milt were engaged, and six months after that they were married. "We took Harriet out to celebrate," Doryne recalls. "To thank her." Not long after, the matchmaker also found a soulmate for one of Doryne's friends. That was 17 years ago. Doryne and Milt now live in Englewood and have two sons and a daughter - Jordan, 14, Alana, 13, and Mikey, 10. Milt and their children attend Cong. Ahavath Torah, and the family is also a member of the Fort Lee Jewish Community Center. Doryne felt such a debt to Harriet, that when she died five years ago, Doryne and Milt attended her funeral at Riverside Chapel. After Harriet's children spoke and mentioned her "passion for fixing Jewish people up and the one couple where she succeeded," the rabbi invited others to come forward. No one stood up at first, but then Doryne decided they needed to know that Harriet had succeeded more than once. "I have Harriet to thank for my wonderful husband and three beautiful kids," she announced. "And she also fixed up my friend who also got married due to Harriet's matchmaking skills." Doryne was astonished when, one by one, other women came forward with their stories of Harriet's efforts. "The rabbi was visibly awed," she says, fighting back her own tears. "She was an eccentric stranger when I met her, but she understood how important it is to find your bashert - like Milt, my lucky Number Seven." Nancy Butler Thu, 02 Feb 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/478/1/Romance-on-the-rink Lou and Sonia Silver Okay, everyone, clear the ice. It's time for couples only." When Sonia Bernstein heard that familiar announcement, she made a beeline for the cutest guy in the rink. And Lou Silver never regretted it. In the early 1940s, Sonia was living in Jersey City and working for her dentist brother as a dental assistant. For recreation she loved going to New York to ice skate at the Gay Blades rink on Broadway. One night, while she was on a conga line with 15 or so other skaters, she caught sight of a handsome man. During the "one, two, three, kick" she turned to get a better look at him - and all the skaters fell down like dominoes. Nancy Butler Thu, 26 Jan 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/442/1/Wet-raincoats-and-sparkling-eyes April showers might bring May flowers, but as Debbie and Stan Altscher discovered, they can also help two damp strangers find their way to romance. In April of 1981, Debbie Lapin of Norwood had recently broken up with her boyfriend. When a woman she worked with prodded her to attend a singles function at the Fort Lee Jewish Center, she reluctantly gave in. "The last thing I needed at that point was to get involved in another relationship," she says. The deal was that if the event was a bust, or if either of them wanted to leave, they'd go get coffee instead. Nancy Butler Thu, 19 Jan 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/389/1/Terms-of-endearment Sherry and Morris Hochman Couples often meet on vacation, but for Morris Hochman of the Bronx the timing was a little off when he met his future wife at a Catskill resort - he was on his way to serve in World War II. Nancy Butler Thu, 12 Jan 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/333/1/The-first-annual-Bashert-%91Oscars%92 Over the past six months I've had the pleasure of interviewing many couples for the weekly Bashert column. I've been moved to both tears and laughter as they discussed their experiences while seeking a truly bashert soulmate. Now, as we enter 2006, I thought it would be fitting to look back over the various stories I covered last year - all of them humorous or heartwarming - and note some of the special moments that stuck with me. There are no golden statuettes for these awards, alas, just the satisfaction that the interviewees entertained others with their tales of courtship and romance. Nancy Butler Fri, 06 Jan 2006 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/291/1/Love-and-long-distance When young couples meet and fall in love, they can't predict what they will have to face to make a marriage work. Lee and Irving Gall discovered that although life - and Irving's business - frequently kept them apart, their special bond continued in spite of the distance between them. In the early 1940s, Irving Gall was living in the Lower East Side and working long hours in the fur industry. For relaxation, he liked going to the Club Amerac on East Broadway with his friends, to play cards and attend the twice-weekly dances. "Now, I was no dancer," Irving recalls. "Didn't know my right foot from my left." But when one of his friends showed up with a date who was the best dancer on the floor, Irving was smitten. He turned to his cousin and said, "That is the girl I'm going to marry." Her name was Lee Safer, and she also lived on the Lower East Side. Irving asked her to dance, and afterward found out that his friend was not dating her "regularly." He now felt free to ask her out himself. They took a drive up to Hastings-on-Hudson one Saturday night, with another couple in the rumble seat of Irving's 1930 Ford coupe. After stopping at a popular root beer bar, it was time to get Lee back home. "In those days, if you came from an Orthodox family," Irving explains, "you couldn't start getting ready for a Saturday night date until after sunset. So it was already late when we started out." Still, they'd spent enough time together, laughing and joking, to know it was special. Since Lee had a full-time job sewing pocketbooks and Irving was working long days, they saw each other only a few times a week, mainly at the club. A half year later, at Passover, Irving decided he wanted to bring Lee home to meet his family. "This better not just be any girl," his mother warned him, "Not someone you're going to forget tomorrow." Irving assured her that was not the case. His mother convinced him to buy Lee a Benrus watch to give to her at the seder. "After that," Irving confesses, "her parents took it as if we were engaged. My parents took it as we were engaged." He pauses for effect. "I don't know how I took it." "He was facing getting called up for military service," Lee adds, "So I said, 'When are we getting married?'" Irving, never one to shirk a question, shot back, "Before or after?" "Before," Lee said emphatically. After they wed, Irving was assigned to work at the Sampson Naval Base Hospital Section - and so began the first of many separations the couple have had to weather. Newlywed Irving was gone from his bride for nearly three months, and once the war was over and he was back home, his new endeavor, an aquarium supply business, began to take him away from Lee for long stretches of time. Lee's at-home responsibilities increased after their four children were born. "She was the best mother ever," Irving says. "She often had to be both mother and father to our kids when I was away, which happened a lot." When Irving's thriving business moved to Maywood, the Galls left New York and moved to Paramus, where they still live. After Mattel Toys bought the business in 1969, Irving, who had always been interested in politics, turned his energies to working for social reform, and eventually served as a Paramus councilman in 2001-2003. He and Lee are grassroots advocates for the AARP and members of the Bergen County Senior Legislative Committee, and Irving is also a member of the Bergen County Senior Advisory Council. They attend the Jewish Community Center of Paramus. In 2006 they will celebrate their 64th wedding anniversary with their four married children (Martin, Ellen, Barbara, and Stephanie), 15 grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. "The secret to a good marriage," Irving says, "is understanding that you are different people, raised differently, with different needs and wants. As long as we know that we are not perfect, we realize we have to make compromises that satisfy both of us." He adds with a smile, "One other thing: No matter what we argued over during the day, Lee and I always kiss before going to bed and kiss first thing in the morning. We never go to sleep or wake up angry." Nancy Butler Fri, 30 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/255/1/Fright-at-first-sight Some couples are lucky enough to experience love at first sight. But when Daniel Ciment of Silver Spring, Md., first set eyes on Aimee Herschmann of Miami Beach, it was a case of "fright at first sight." In 1994, on the fourth night of Chanukah, Daniel and his friends at Yeshiva University in New York were feeling restless and looking for something to do. Even though it was fairly late, they all decided to visit Daniel's cousin at Stern College. Since she lived in an apartment and not a dorm room, they figured it would be okay. But when they got to her place, her roommate told them she was "up at Aimee's apartment." They all trooped up the stairs and Daniel knocked on the door. Considering the hour, he had a feeling that whoever answered the door might not be dressed for male visitors, so he politely covered his eyes. The door opened and Daniel waited for some response. After a few seconds of silence, he lowered his hand - and saw Aimee with her hair up in curlers and white night cream all over her face. She was talking on the phone to her father, and without her glasses couldn't quite make out who was at the door. When Daniel asked if his cousin was there, Aimee quickly rang off from her father so he wouldn't know that boys were visiting her apartment so late at night - and then she slammed the door shut on Daniel. "A minute later," Daniel says, "my cousin came outside, laughing." The next week Daniel was at an engagement party, and his cousin came up to him and pointed out another guest. It was Aimee. "See," his cousin said, "Aimee looks like that at night so she can look like this during the day." Nancy Butler Fri, 23 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/206/1/Separate-tables It has often been said that "clothes make the man." Susan Melamud has a slightly different take on things. While searching for her Jewish soul mate, she made an interesting wardrobe choice that proved "clothes sometimes catch the man." Susan Lefcourt had no trouble meeting Jewish men while attending City College. As a chemical engineering major, she was the sole female in a class of predominantly Jewish males. When she entered the workforce, however, she found it difficult to meet men of her own faith. Then in 1972, when Susan was a year and a half out of college - and still searching in vain for a Jewish man - a friend urged her to attend a UJA singles dinner-dance at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. Hoping to meet an eligible bachelor, Susan pored over her wardrobe options. "Two styles prevailed in the early swinging '70s" she recalls, "the demure granny gown and the 'go-go' hotpants look." The day of the dance, Susan decided to pack one of each in a small suitcase before she went off to work, figuring she'd decide after she actually got there. Once at the Plaza Hotel, she peeked into the ballroom. Granny gowns galore, she noted, and went off to the ladies' room to don her hot-pink hot-pants suit. She was armed for bear now. To her dismay, she found herself assigned to a table with guests in their late 30s and early 40s, people with whom she had nothing in common. The evening was starting to seem like a waste of time and effort. Before long, she gathered her things and got up to leave. Directly across the ballroom, a young man was also looking around at his tablemates and feeling disenchanted. After serving in Viet Nam, Ron Melamud had attended architectural college in Belgium. Now back in the states and living in Manhattan, Ron wanted more than anything to meet a Jewish woman and settle down. "I hated 'single' events," he admits, "but my cousin had convinced me to attend this dinner dance. What a mistake!" But then, through the crowd, he saw a young woman in pink walking dejectedly toward his table. As he gazed at her with a welcoming expression, she stopped and met his eyes. He immediately invited her to sit down. Nancy Butler Fri, 16 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/171/1/Love-in-a-foggy-climate Take two young people who are frequently on the move, crisscrossing the country. Even if they are truly meant for each other, it's unlikely they'll ever meet. But luckily for Alexandra Wall and Paul Bosky, Fate - in the form of an online mensch - stepped in. Paulie's hometown was Baltimore, Md., but he headed west to attend the College of Wooster in Ohio. Alix, who grew up in Riverside, Calif., went to UC Santa Cruz. Paulie did eventually move out to the Bay area, but by then Alix had gone east for a job in New York City, where she ended up going to graduate school. That was followed by a stint working for The Jewish Standard as a writer and then managing editor from 1996 to 2000. When Alix returned to the West Coast, to San Francisco, Paulie had moved down to Santa Cruz. In early 2002, Alix relocated to Oakland and fortunately stayed put, because two years later Paulie also moved there to work for a software company. The job didn't last long, however, because the company was strict about people laughing and chatting at work. "If you knew Paulie," Alix says, "you'd know he'd find that intolerable." Job woes aside, Paulie was at a point where he wanted to meet his life partner, and when a friend suggested he pray for that to happen, he did. He also began running a personal ad on craigslist.org - a popular Website that also features job and apartment postings. ("We really have Craig Newmark to thank," Alix says. "We're the second couple we know who met through his site.") One day while scanning the personals, Alix read Paulie's ad and totally cracked up. She'd been looking for a "nice Jewish boy," and couldn't know that Paulie had never identified himself that way before, even though his mother was Jewish. But this time he decided to mention his ancestry. "Otherwise," Alix points out, "I'd never have seen his ad." She responded with an e-mail and they began corresponding. Paulie was surprised and delighted over how well they hit it off. They found themselves discussing spirituality and other matters of substance - and laughing a lot. The night before their first meeting, Alix was at a Simcha Torah celebration, where everyone was asked to offer a blessing to the person beside them. Alix's friend turned to her and said, "I bless you that you meet your bashert in the coming year." Alix returned the blessing, not knowing that in her case it was about to be fulfilled. Her first date with Paulie lasted more than seven hours - drinks and sushi, followed by a romantic walk around Lake Merritt. They decided that a second date was definitely in order. "A week later we went to see 'I Heart Huckabees,'" Alix recalls, "but neither of us remembers much about the movie." She knew things were getting serious with Paulie when they enrolled in an Introduction to Judaism class together. "He also started attending my hippie-dippy synagogue and going to yoga classes with me." While at the wedding of two friends over Memorial Day weekend, Alix and Paulie found themselves asking questions like, "Where would you like to get married?" All of a sudden, marriage moved from the abstract to the concrete, They began discussing it over and over. In July they were at a concert by the Funk Brothers - a Motown backup group - and during the last song, "How Sweet It Is to Be Loved by You," they danced together. Afterward, Paulie wanted to take Alix to the beach. Alix agreed, even though it was a typical foggy San Francisco summer day. They climbed up on a sand dune, and then Paulie knelt down on one knee and asked her to marry him. "I knew why we were going to the beach," Alix admits, "but it was still a beautiful moment." She told him "of course" she'd marry him, then they kissed and hugged and even cried a little bit. As they stood looking out at the ocean, a few rays of the sun were piercing the clouds, leaving a patch of bright light on the water. Paulie suggested they walk to the water and dip their feet, in a sort of mikvah ritual as a newly engaged couple. On the way home Alix called everyone with the good news. The couple still both live in Oakland, and are planning an August wedding in Santa Cruz. Alix works as a reporter for a Jewish newspaper in San Francisco and Paulie is, in Alix's words, a "computer geek" for a software company - one where he is allowed to chat and laugh. "We're actually grateful to that 'other' company," Alix says with a grin. "It's the reason Paulie came here to live, and, of course, the greater reason is that he was meant to meet me." Nancy Butler Fri, 09 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/110/1/Picking-the-right-Burt Sometimes life echoes a movie comedy plot, and that's just how Anne Rosner felt when she was being wooed by "Two Guys Named Burt." What's a girl to do in such a predicament? Anne wisely let her heart lead the way. Nancy Butler Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:00:00 MST http://www.jstandard.com/articles/52/1/Hate-turns-to-love First impressions can be misleading - often couples meant for each other just don't click in the beginning. Take Brian and Stacy Lawrence, for instance. Nancy Butler Fri, 18 Nov 2005 00:00:00 MST