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It is with mixed emotions that we announce that the staff of The Jewish Standard has, collectively, won the New Jersey Lottery, making instant millionaires of those who have toiled faithfully to bring you all the Jewish news we think you should read. The money will enable us to relocate our office, moving to a site more fitting for our mission. After a long discussion, it has been decided that Tahiti best meets our needs. First, there are no Jews there, so we’re not likely to be interrupted by letters (responding to letters responding to letters), e-mails (accusing us of being right-wing, left-wing, and lords of the ring), or phone calls inviting us to cover the opening of a hair-piece store for men because "Jewish men get bald, too."
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