Lacking fins or tail
  The gefilte fish swims with
  Great difficulty.

  *****

  Beyond Valium,
  Peace is knowing one’s child
  Is an internist.

  *****

  On Passover we
  Opened the door for Elijah
  Now our cat is gone.

  *****

  After the warm rain
  The sweet smell of camellias
  Did you wipe your feet?

  *****

  Her lips near my ear,
  Aunt Sadie whispers the name
  Of her friend’s disease.

  *****
  Today I am a man.
  Tomorrow I will return
  To the seventh grade.

  *****

  Testing the warm milk
  On her wrist, she sighs softly.
  But her son is forty.

  *****

  The sparkling blue sea
  Reminds me to wait an hour
  After my sandwich.

  *****
  Like a bonsai tree,
  Is your terrible posture
  At my dinner table.

  *****

  Jews on safari—
  Map, compass, elephant gun,
  Hard sucking candies.

  *****

  The same kimono
  The top geishas are wearing:
  I got it at Loehmann’s.

  *****
  Mom, please! There is no
  Need to put that dinner roll
  In your pocketbook.

  *****

  Seven-foot Jews in
  The NBA slam-dunking!
  My alarm clock rings .

  *****

  Sorry I’m not home
  To take your call. At the tone
  Please state your bad news.   

  *****

  Is one Nobel Prize
  So much to ask from a child
  After all I’ve done?

  *****

  Today, mild shvitzing.
  Tomorrow, so hot you’ll plotz.
  Five-day forecast: feh

  *****
Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
  Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
  Oy! To be fluent!

  *****

  Quietly murmured
  At Saturday Synagogue services,
  Yanks 3, Red Sox 5.

  *****

  A lovely nose ring,
  Excuse me while I put my
  Head in the oven.

  ****

  Hard to tell under the lights.
  White Yarmulke or
  Male-pattern baldness