The Big Lipowsky reported this week on the kosher meat shortage resulting from the financial troubles at Agriprocessors, the country’s largest kosher meat producer. I’ll be following the fallout as it progresses over the coming weeks, months, etc. etc. And I’m starting next week with Kosherfest 2008.

Kosherfest is the largest kosher foods showcase/trade show in the world and it’s happening Nov. 11-12 at The Meadowlands in Secaucus. The Big Lipowsky will be down on the floor talking with industry insiders about new trends in kosher food, the latest news and rumors (for example, the poorly kept secret that Half Moon K certification is merging into the Orthodox Union, and Empire Poultry’s designs on the beef market) and, yes, the repercussions of the Agri scandals.

Making Kosherfest even more significant, the trade show is run by Lubicom, which had handled Agri’s PR until this summer. Lubicom president Menachem Lubinsky is scheduled to give a keynote presentation called “State of the Kosher Industry: The Marketing of Kosher Foods.”  Mitch Fox, owner of Blue Ribbon in Fort Lee, told The Big Lipowsky earlier this week that Agri has put “a blackeye” on the kosher industry. We’ll see how some of the industry’s top people feel about what’s going on and what the future may hold. 

And if I have to walk away with a few tasty product samples, so be it. That’s the sacrifice I’m willing to make to bring you up-to-date news.

Barack Obama has made history by becoming America’s first black president.  Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also made history this week by being the first Iranian leader to congratulate a U.S. president-elect since the 1979 Iranian Revolution.

According to Ahmadinejad’s statement, which was published by the official IRNA news agency, America’s foreign policy has been one “based on warmongering, occupation, bullying, deception and humiliation, as well as discrimination and unfair relations.”

Under President Obama, Ahmadinejad expects a new foreign policy using “an approach based on justice and respect, as well as lack of intervention in the affairs of others.”

Lack of intervention in the affairs of others? Excuse me? Are we talking about the same Iran here?

Is Ahmadinejad aware of Hezbollah? A terrorist army funded and trained by the Iranian government that is based in another country (Lebanon), is part of that country’s government, and is openly hostile to a third country (Israel).
Not to mention that Iran is a close ally of Syria, which has been meddling in Lebanese affairs for decades and is still trying to regain control of the country.

And Ahmadinejad wants the U.S. to stop intervening in the affairs of others.

Obviously Ahmadinejad does not expect Obama to welcome him to Washington with open arms after this. More likely, this was a planned maneuver to embarrass and/or weaken Obama by linking him to Iranian support. 

So how should Obama respond? Of course he won’t say “Thank you” but can he just ignore the remarks? Some might take that as tacit approval. It’s a tricky path. 

In other Obama news, he has tapped Illinois Rep. Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff. Emanuel accepted today. According to the Wikipedia page on Emanuel, the congressman was the inspiration of the “West Wing” character Josh Lyman

Emanuel was born in America but has Israeli family, notably his father, Dr. Benjamin Emanuel, who reportedly was a member of the Irgun. The younger Emanuel also apparently was a civilian volunteer in the Israel Defense Forces during the 1991 Gulf War. Interviewed in the Israeli daily Maariv about his son’s nomination, the elder Emanuel said, “Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel.” He later added, “Why wouldn’t he be? What is he, an Arab? He’s not going to clean the floors of the White House.”

Aside from the anti-Arab tone, this statement is a little troubling for the American Jewish community. Obviously most of us want Obama to be pro-Israel. But we now live in a time when some are decrying the power of AIPAC in Washington, professors Walt and Mearsheimer are still peddling their book, “The Israel Lobby,” and some are even going so far as to blame AIPAC or the pro-Israel community for the war in Iraq and other ills that have befallen the country. Now is not the time for us to promote an image of Israeli control of Washington, which unfortunately this statement does. Rep. Emanuel has faced accusations of dual loyalty in the past. I fear this development may bring back some of those claims.

On the other hand, it is reassuring to know that Obama has chosen another friend of Israel to be by his side.

The question of Obama’s secretary of state has been floating around the Internet all day. Some names under consideration include New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson and Sen. John Kerry. The Big Lipowsky will keep a close eye on how this one plays out.

Stay tuned.

T-minus six hours until the polls open.  The Big Lipowsky looked long and hard to find some election humor to get you through the day.

First up, from the yahoos who brought us “This land is my land” four years ago, it’s Time for Some Campaignin’.

Next, Vlad and Boris - two Russians who can see Alaska from their house  - sing about their love for Sarah Palin.

And, so as not to be accused of being unbalanced (at least not politically), I dug around some Hollywood archives and found some early references to Barack Obama. Who can forget that heart-warming movie of persevering to achieve your dreams, “Barocky”?
And then there was that scene in “Back to the Future” when Marty McFly met the future Democratic nominee.

OK, so there aren’t a lot of good funny (and clean) Obama videos out there. There’s Obama Girl, who has made a slew of videos since her original (which Michelle Citrin parodied perfectly last year with Rosh HaShanah Girl), but that’s about it.

Anyway, in a few hours the polls will open. A few eateries such as Ben & Jerry’s and Starbucks are giving away freebies to people who have voted. If there’s one thing The Big Lipowsky likes better than exercising his constitutional right to vote, it’s free ice cream.

And if the last two elections have taught us anything, every vote counts. Hopefully, this election will be settled Tuesday night/Wednesday morning without the same calls for recounts, lawsuits, and wondering who impregnated that chad. The Simpsons” already predicted voting problems.
If that does happen, there will be only one way to settle this: Dance-off.

Go vote.

Whether voters on Tuesday send Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to the White House or back to Alaska, one thing is for sure: Just like William Shatner, her hair will live on.

The New York Post reported last week that Sarah Palin-esque wigs have become popular buys at one Brooklyn sheitle macher. “Fashion trumps politics,” said the store’s owner.

The Big Lipowsky has to give the NY Post credit for coining the phrase “Hanukkah Mom” and for spinning Palin’s catchphrase, “Jew betcha.”

Even at almost $700 per wig, the Palin ‘do has sold very well in Brooklyn.

Well, The Big Lipowsky has a few ideas for the next celebrity sheitle:

-The Marge Simpson sheitle

-The Elsa Lanchester sheitle

-The Elvis sheitle

There are only ever two constants in life: Death and taxes. With a week to go before the election, Barack Obama is focusing on the latter.

Obama’s campaign has put a calculator\ on its Website so that voters can estimate their tax breaks under an Obama administration. Accordingly, The Big Lipowsky stands to save $500 in taxes under an Obama administration.

But is this really a big indicator of who’d be a better president?

The Tax Foundation has a breakdown of the candidates’ tax plans. The Big Lipowsky doesn’t have a link but recalls reading a news article about a month ago that said the majority of Americans would not notice a major difference in taxes under President Obama than they would under President McCain. I will dig around for that article and hopefully post it later this week.  In the meantime, the Tax Foundation seems to provide a good breakdown of the tax plans.

The Big Lipowsky just received a very strange e-card on JDate.

The text read:

“Hello! I wish to communicate with you! I have looked at your profile, and you have appeared to me the interesting, Intellectual person. My photo is not approved yet but if you write me that I I will give you the photo in the answer. If I have interested you, I will rejoice to your letter, on my e-mail: zuzamba (at) yahoo (dot) com or send me the you e-mail I already wait!!!”

I checked the profile (supposedly based in New Jersey) and answers to three of the essays read: “I would like to give you this information if you should ask during our dialogue.”

And oh yes, this person did not show up in the “Who’s viewed my profile” category, which means….

The Nigerian e-mail scammers have invaded Jdate!  You know the ones. “Dear sir, I am XYZ, widow/lawyer/child of ABC who recently passed away and I need your help moving his billions out of the country. Just send your checking account information.”

This e-mail fits the mold perfectly.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve gotten spam like this on JDate, and I doubt it will be the last. About half a dozen “women” have sent flirts in the last year. All, surprisingly, from California and none who actually looked at my profile. This is key to figuring out if your new e-mail on JDate or any dating site might be a fraud. If the sender has not looked at your profile, chances are it’s a spambot.

My favorite incident was about two years ago. An Israeli woman (at least that was the cover) wrote to The Big Lipowsky in very broken English and offered money to marry her so she could get a green card. As I recall, it sounded legit (as in, she was a real person and not a spambot).

About three years ago, The Big Lipowsky replied to one of the Nigerian e-mails. This one claimed to be an Egyptian so I wrote back to him that I would be happy to help but I am in the process of making aliyah to Israel and all transactions would have to be handled by Bank Leumi. He wrote back asking when we could get started. I was hoping to have a little more fun with him but ended it there.

Another colleague exchanged about a dozen e-mails with a scammer, telling the scammer that he wanted to use the money to set up a new devil-worshipping church. I wish I still had the record of that one.

Anyway, The Big Lipowsky is offering a high-five to anybody who e-mails this JDate spammer and has the most outrageous e-mail chain. 

Oil prices fell almost $5 this morning, settling (for now) at $63 and change per barrel.

Analysts expected prices to dip to $50 by next year. Remember when oil was $50 a barrel? Gas stations were charging somewhere between $2 and $2.50 a gallon. Do you remember a time when gas was less than $2 a gallon? I do.

There are any number of reasons for why the price of oil shot up so much these past few years: increased demand from China and India, the war in Iraq, hurricanes and other supply disruptions, inflation, and market correction because the U.S. artificially kept the price of oil down for so many years.  Now worldwide demand has dropped and so have prices. Will we see a return to the pre-2000 prices of $20 a barrel and $1 at the pump? Unlikely as OPEC wants that less than it wants prices skyrocketing (thus causing the drop-off in demand). But we may see the market settle around the $50-$60 range — if this new-found ability to conserve continues.

The Big Lipowsky — who walked to the office today — can live with that.

The Big Lipowsky isn't the schlubbiest of them all after all.

Turns out, The Big Lipowsky isn't that big a schlub after all. Last week, I reviewed "From Schlub to Stud" in the pages of The Jewish Standard. If you missed the issue, you can find the review here.

What you didn't read in that article is that author Max Gross held a book release party in August that featured a schlub-off competition. The Big Lipowsky, of course, had to enter. I put together my schlubbiest outfit, pulling one of my chess tournament T-shirts out from the bottom of my closet and letting the JewFro go wild. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), I did not win.

Author Max Gross hosted the Schlub-off in honor of his new book, "From Schlub to Stud."

So who did take the crown of schlubbiest schlub in NYC? I can't tell you. You see, the winner was a friend of mine whom I dragged to the contest. He tried to back out but I would not let him. He was convinced that I would win, but before the contest started, I told him that I thought he would take it. Turns out, I was right.

When Max announced the winner, my friend turned to me and said, "I'm going to kill you, Josh." Hey man, at least you got a nice bottle of wine and "Knocked Up" on DVD out of it. Plus the experience. You should thank me. But just wait until I make you enter again next year. Then it'll be some fierce competition.

Contestant Stas poses with the judges after the contest.

Contestant Bobby was popular with the judges as well.