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A time to love

A ‘safe’ site for married adults only

 
 
 

LOS ANGELES – Ask Dr. David Ribner what he thinks about Jewish couples using sex toys and you get an answer you may not have expected.

The chairman of the sex therapy training program at the School of Social Work at Bar-Ilan University in Israel and himself a certified sex therapist, Ribner answers questions about the acceptability of the devices at http://www.koshersextoys.net, a website that sells the devices and is geared to Orthodox Jews.

“While Jewish law and tradition have long recognized the centrality of sexual satisfaction to a successful marriage,” he said in a response to a question for this article, “only recently have we been witness to more public efforts to promote this goal. Kosher Sex Toys [which runs the website and sells the items] is a step in this direction.”

Ribner, who also is a Yeshiva University-ordained rabbi, co-authored “Et Le’ehov [a time to love]: The Newlywed’s Guide to Physical Intimacy,” with Dr. Jennie Rosenfeld.

The mission of Kosher Sex Toys, the website proclaims, is to “provide married adults with products that can help enhance their intimate moments without involving crude or indecent pictures or text.” The website promises that nothing on the site “will make you blush,” and product pictures do not feature people.

“It is our firm belief at koshersextoys.net that there is absolutely nothing wrong from either a moral or religious standpoint with two married adults enjoying each other sexually in whatever way makes them happy,” the website adds. “As a matter of fact, we believe it is the moral obligation of each partner in a marriage to do whatever is possible to satisfy their partner, and that the only way for a marriage to be happy and fulfilling is for it to have a healthy and exciting sex life. We hope with our site to help people who would otherwise be reluctant to buy the types of product we carry be more comfortable doing so, and to help them have happier and more fulfilling sex lives and marriages.”

In a real sense, Kosher Sex Toys is everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to look at — and uncertain whether to use. The company, located in Lakewood, a city with a large center-right Orthodox population, would seem ideally situated to service this niche market in what Inc. magazine estimates is a $2 billion industry.

Many of the items available for sale — we hesitate to list them in a family newspaper — are sold on other sites, as well. “It’s our attitude and how it’s sold that makes it different,” said founder and CEO Gavriel (his wife made him promise not to use his last name).

At first blush, a sex toy web site operated by an Orthodox Jew from Lakewood might seem unusual, but Jews and sexual aids appear to go back into biblical times. Rachel, the barren wife of Jacob, asked her sister Leah for some mandrakes, a root found in the Middle East that was considered to have aphrodisiacal qualities.

Gavriel says he researches each of his more than 300 items but does not personally test them, adding that “I only want to carry things that are safe.”

JTA Wire Service

 

More on: A time to love

 
 
 

In God’s image

Why Jewish children need values-based sex ed

Last spring, I walked into a sixth-grade classroom where the girls welcomed me with squeals of delight, excited to show me the dance routine they had created to the rap song “Take It Off.” The lyrics include:

“Now we’re looking like pimps in my gold Trans-Am
Got a water bottle full of whiskey in my handbag...
There’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall, it’s a dirty free for all
And they turn me on when they take it off...”

 
 

Revealing the joy of sex to observant couples

A new book unveils the joy of sex for a group that has traditionally kept the subject under wraps — Orthodox Jews. “There wasn’t any source of accurate sexual information for the religious community,” said Dr. David Ribner, co-author with Dr. Jennie Rosenfeld of the book “Et Le’ehov [a time to love]: The Newlywed’s Guide to Physical Intimacy.”

Ribner, who is director of the sex therapy training program at Bar Ilan University in Ramat Gan, Israel, reported that the current consensus at sex therapy conventions is that “there’s a right for everyone to have sexual enjoyment.”

 
 
 
 
 
 
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‘Historic partnership’ recalled

Rosenwald Schools had national impact

In the late 1800s, seeking funds to build Alabama’s Tuskegee University — then Tuskegee Normal School — the author and educator Booker T. Washington went up north to solicit help from known philanthropists. Among them was Chicago resident Julius Rosenwald, president of Sears, Roebuck, and Co.

“A lot of northern philanthropists were looking to help out with education in the South,” said Tracy Hayes, field officer and project manager for the Rosenwald Schools Initiative of the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

In the end, she said, Rosenwald’s contribution would help not just Tuskegee, but the cause of public education throughout the south — and the nation as a whole. Through his efforts, some 5,000 schools were opened for African American children, some of which still function today.

 

Tending to the liberators

March of Living honors vets, with N.J. doctor in tow

Englewood resident Dr. David Arbit has spent much of his adult life hearing about the Shoah.

“My father-in-law is a survivor,” says the physician, who practices in Fair Lawn. “At every bar- or bat mitzvah, he would get up and speak about his experiences.”

Now, however, Arbit can add many more firsthand accounts to those he already knows. As the physician designated by the March of the Living program to accompany this year’s honorees — some 16 former U.S. servicemen who were among the first to arrive at Europe’s many concentration camps during World War II — the doctor says he now has both new information and detailed verification of his father-in-law’s stories.

 

Tears in Teaneck

Lipstadt keynotes annual Shoah event

It was an emotional, bittersweet Teaneck Holocaust commemoration this year. Perhaps it was because long-time residents Arlene Duker, who lost her daughter to Arab terrorists many years ago, and Rabbi Johnny Krug, a son of survivors and dean of student life and welfare at Frisch High School, read the family names of those who were lost in the Shoah. Among them were Backenroth, Flanzbaum, Malca, Jacobowitz, Adler, Bacall, Goldberg, Greenwald, Morris, Kraar, Taffet, Lewkowitz, Weissler, Rosenberg, Hampel, Stern, and many other familiar names — all neighbors, all second generation, all families with decades-deep roots in Teaneck, tied together by the tragedies of the Shoah and the triumph of survival.

Teaneckers have played an important role in shaping Holocaust education since 1979, so it was appropriate for Deborah Lipstadt, the keynote speaker, to talk about the Adolf Eichmann trial and the politics surrounding it. Earlier in the evening, she told The Jewish Standard that the trial 50 years ago gave the world a universal view of the Shoah, because for the first time, survivors gave testimony.

 

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Weiner quits Congress, apologizes for ‘personal mistakes’

WASHINGTON (JTA) -- Rep. Anthony Weiner resigned and apologized in the wake of a scandal in which he lied about sexually explicit exchanges on social media outlets.

“I am here today to apologize for the personal mistakes I have made and the embarrassment that I have caused,” Weiner (D-N.Y.) said at a news conference Thursday at a home for the elderly in Brooklyn where in the past he has announced his intention to run for office.

 

From praise to anger, Jewish response to Obama’s speech runs the gamut

WASHINGTON – From accolades like “compelling” to accusations like “Auschwitz borders” to radio silence, to label the Jewish response to President Obama’s speech on Middle East policy as diverse understates matters.

The very breadth of the Middle East policy speech — 5,600 words and covering the entire Middle East and decades of history — helps explain the wildly divergent responses from Jewish groups and opinion shapers, even among some who are otherwise often on the same page.

One could as easily pick out points for Israel — slamming the Palestinian Authority’s pact with Hamas as well as its bid for unilateral statehood — as one could the demerits — for many, the most explicit endorsement of the pre-1967 lines as the basis for future borders by any American president.

 

Obama: 1967 borders with swaps should serve as basis for negotiations

WASHINGTON – President Obama said the future state of Palestine should be based on the pre-1967 border with mutually agreed land swaps with Israel.

In his address Thursday afternoon on U.S. policy in the Middle East, Obama told an audience at the State Department that the borders of a “sovereign, nonmilitarized” Palestinian state “should be based on 1967 lines with mutually agreed swaps.”

Negotiations should focus first on territory and security, and then the difficult issues of the status of Jerusalem and what to do about the rights of Palestinian refugees can be broached, Obama said.

 
 
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