Jerusalem Post reported today that after a meeting in Moscow with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal said Israelis bring “war and occupation” and block peace

The Hamas charter calls for the destruction of Israel, and Mashaal is lashing out at Israel for being warlike.

My brain hurts. 

On the eve of the Super Bowl, The New York Times ran a very interesting story on Fridayabout Alan “Shlomo” Veingrad, the pro-football-star-turned-Lubavitcher. 

Each week, Rabbi Daniel Feldman holds Shabbat services in his Queen Anne Road in Teaneck. Feldman is employed by and the house is owned by 554 Queen Anne Road Inc., which operates as Etz Chaim.

The organization is embroiled in a dispute with some of its neighbors who argue Feldman and his employers are misusing the house by holding weekly Shabbat services on the property. After a cease-and-desist order from Teaneck in 2008 and discussions with borough officials, Etz Chaim began a process to receive variances on the property to designate portions as a house of worship to satisfy township regulations. For a brief update on that process, click here and here for a short history of the dispute.

The story isn’t staying within the confines of the municipal hearings, however, despite the efforts Feldman told The Jewish Standard Etz Chaim has made to make peace with its neighbors.

Earlier this week, a Twitter account called “EtzHayimTeaneck” was created by unknown users. As of Friday, “EtzHayimTeaneck” had made two posts.

Our first tweet! Now this is even more exciting that keeping the story straight with the town and the damn neighbors.  6:04 PM Feb 3rd   from Echofon

and

Candle lighting at 5:00 pm. Please don’t park near the shul (at least until we get our variance).  about 14 hours ago   from Echofon

On Friday morning, “EtzHayimTeaneck” began to follow @JewishStandard.

An e-mail to Feldman and a phone call with Etz Chaim president Robert Erlich confirmed The Big Lipowsky’s suspicions: The @etzhayimteaneck  has no affiliation with Etz Chaim or its leadership, which claimed no knowledge of the feed until it was brought to their attention this morning.

The true identity of @EtzHayimTeaneck remains a mystery for now. The user has not yet responded to a direct message from the Standard through Twitter to clarify his/her identity.

This week’s poll question on jstandard.com asks whether you plan to boycott Mel Gibson’s latest movie because of his past actions. 

After Gibson’s 2006 anti-Semitic tirade in which he blamed the Jews for all of the world’s wars, he apologized to Anti-Defamation League director Abraham Foxman and made a round of apologies. Well, in a recent interview a Chicago reporter asked him about whether he felt like a different person than a few years ago. Gibson’s response was to brush him off, and then utter a profanity. 

Well, take a look for yourself.

As one of the CNN commentators noted, this is a clear failure of Public Relations 101.

This may be the most unusual help wanted ad ever posted on Craig’s List. 

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM. (Astoria, NY)
Date: 2010-01-30, 6:20PM EST
Reply to: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) [Errors when replying to ads?]

WANTED:

One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

  * Location: Astoria, NY
  * it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  * Compensation: no pay

If you are such a rabbi and you apply, The Big Lipowsky wants to hear your story. If you are not a rabbi trained in the “dark talmudic arts” and you apply anyway as a gag, The Big Lipowsky wants to hear your story. (Remember, “serious inquiry only.”)

And apparently, Hobbits with a jewelry fetish need not apply.  Too bad, Gollum might actually be a good math tutor. “My fractionssssss, my fractionsssssss.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snH738Umhqc

Not great quality (Youtube repost, what do you want?), but it gets the point across. 

Unfortunately, the video has attracted a number of nutjobs in the comments section.  Here’s my favorite.

CYGNUS609 (18 hours ago)
American engineered the earthquake using HAARP technology….........and Israelis are reaping the harvest…stealing human organs in haiti…Israeli knew about this engineered earthquake in advance so they were more than ready to rush in and steal as much as possible the human organs before other NGOs around the world arrive in.America and Israel are working together as hands in gloves.CNN is zionist mouth piece

Some people just can’t get past their own ignorance.

No matter which charity you choose, please do your part to help the humanitarian crisis in Haiti.

Most Facebook users by now are familiar with the Chase-Facebook Community Giving program, which pledged to divide $5 million dollars among charities selected by Facebook users. 

The votes are in and Chase announced the winners on Monday. Invisible Children, which advocates for the rescue of children in central Africa who have been kidnapped from their homes and forced to serve as soldiers in a civil war in Uganda, was the big winner with a $1 million grant.

Five other charities were selected as runners-up to receive $100,000 each. Among those winners was The Friendship Circle, the Chabad program for special-needs children.  As you may recall, Rabbi Levi Shemtov, who founded Friendship Circle with his wife Bassie, was one of the five finalists in the first Jewish Community Heroes competition last year.

Six other charities will each receive $100,000, while 11 charities will receive $37,000.  Friendship Circle was the only Jewish organization in the running. For more information and the full list of charities, click here.

A flight from LaGuardia Airport in New York heading toward Kentucky was diverted to Philadelphia after the pilot decided a Jewish teen’s tefillin might have been a security threat. 

New York Daily News has the story with a handy how-to video from Chabad on putting on tefillin. 

This is not the first time such an incident has occurred. 

Remember the 2006 story about the Jewish man removed from an Air Canada Jazz plane for praying?

And also that year six imams kicked off the plane for praying.